Since moving to Pittsburgh for college, I’ve learned that cultural clashes might not always be super dramatic. Sometimes they even happen right in your dorm’s communal kitchen. A few weeks ago, I was going downstairs to do my laundry when I immediately smelled something being cooked. I didn’t recognize exactly what it was, but the smell was powerful and filled the whole dorm. The first thoughts that popped into my head were, “What is he cooking? Why does it smell like that?”

Another student was not a fan of the smell and burst into the kitchen, opened a window quite dramatically, and jokingly said, “Ew, what is that?” The guy who was cooking immediately turned red and turned around in embarrassment.

This moment really stuck with me, even though it wasn’t anything horribly dramatic; it still showed how fast people judge what we don’t recognize.

The Ethnocentric Reaction: Honestly, my initial reaction wasn’t too great either. Growing up, I never ate spicy food, so anything with strong spices in it seemed “gross” or “weird” to me. The instinctive thought that occurred was pretty much the same for everyone: “This is gross, why can’t he cook something good and normal?” That thing I thought was “normal” stemmed from the way I grew up, where I lived, and the people around me.

The Relativist View: A little later, I found out he was cooking a dish from his home country. This was his “normal” Ingredients and spices that felt “too strong” to me were comforting and familiar to him.

From his cultural perspective, he was just preparing food that reminded him of his home, which is his normal. The only reason it felt strange to me is that it was outside my comfort zone and background.

My Red Line as a Storyteller, if I were interviewing him, what I’d want to know is what it means: What does that dish remind him of, or why is it specifically important to him? My red line would be strictly safety issues with cooking, and maybe people being allergic to certain spices. Beyond that, it’s up to me to be open with the topic and try to learn from his perspective. The diversity in Pittsburgh, and specifically at my school, Carnegie Mellon, has taught me that what seems unusual to me is someone else’s normal, and cultural realism helps bridge that gap.